I feel I should explain why there was no Perfume Chat Room post last Friday, as I try to make sure I set up that weekly space for community chit-chat. My father-in-law, whom I loved dearly, died last Monday and his funeral was yesterday. So yes, the last couple of Mondays have been sad ones.
But, as the Carpenters’ lyrics say,
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny, but it seems that it’s the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)
My father-in-law knew how much he was loved, and my husband knows how much I loved his father. He always made me feel that I belonged, right from the start, although I was the first non-Catholic to marry into the family. My FIL, a decorated career military officer, was totally open and direct about his affection for people he loved — he proposed to my MIL on their first date, and he proposed to me on behalf of my then-boyfriend, now husband, the first night I met my future in-laws. He was a dear, dear man, who taught his sons also to be loving, kind men. And while we’re sad to lose him and will miss him, he was in his 90s and had lost his beloved wife of 60 years five years ago. He was clear of mind and loyal of heart until the very end, and he chose not to go back to the hospital when his heart issues worsened. He wanted to be reunited with his beloved, and had the faith that he would be.
It’s funny, because I don’t actually know whether my FIL ever wore Old Spice, but to me he was the quintessential “dad” who would have worn it. Old-fashioned in a nice way. Warm, cozy, and fatherly. Deceptively simple and straightforward, with hidden depths that weren’t demons — just more layers of warmth and sweetness, together with complexities. His funeral Mass was beautiful, and it included the traditional incense, which I found very comforting.
“Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. ”
— William Shakespeare
Serenity Now Scents and Sensibilities 
As sad as it is, to live a long and good life is something not all of us can achieve. But we can keep the good memories
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So true! Thank you
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I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear father-in-law. He sounds like a wonderful person. I know he will be missed by many. I find a funeral mass with incense very comforting, too. “If” by Frapin is my favorite incense scent.
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I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your FIL sounds like someone full of life and who made others’ lives fuller.
It’s true, we should run to those who love us.
When I first saw the title, I thought of a different song, “Sunday” by Jazzamor:
“‘Cause with you every day is Sunday
I hate rainy days and Monday
The sun always shines on Sunday
But without you a day has no name”
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Wonderful writing for an obviously loved man. My heart felt condolences on your family’s loss
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Wonderful writing for an obviously much loved man.
Please accept my heart felt condolences on your family’s loss
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What a lovely tribute to a great man. May his memory be a blessing.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Your FIL sounds like a wonderful man who lived a full life. Cherish those memories. My mother was Catholic (I was raised Protestant) so the incense at her funeral was a surprise to me, but I loved it. Hugs to you and your DH as you navigate this new world without your FIL.
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How wonderful to have had such a kind and loving man as a father in law! And to be sharp to the end, what a gift. Condolences on this great loss. And as a Protestant, I too enjoy the incense in the Catholic church both for the solemnity and the ceremony.
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Condolences to you and your husband’s family. Leaving a legacy of people you loved and loved you in return is priceless. My own f-i-l left us at new year, another big, loveable character who is sorely missed.
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BUMMER, losing parents is crap, birth and in laws. Hugging you across the seas OH.
You wrote beautifully of him.
Portia xx
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Thanks, Portia, for the kind words and the cyber hug.
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