what went well

Perfume Chat Room, November 17
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Perfume Chat Room, November 17

Welcome to the weekly Perfume Chat Room, perfumistas! I envision this chat room as a weekly drop-in spot online, where readers may ask questions, suggest fragrances, tell others their SOTD, comment on new releases or old favorites, and respond to each other. The perennial theme is fragrance, but we can interpret that broadly. This is meant to be a kind space, so please try not to give or take offense, and let’s all agree to disagree when opinions differ. In fragrance as in life, your mileage may vary! YMMV.

Today is Friday, November 17, and next week brings Thanksgiving in the US. I love Thanksgiving! I like to cook, and it is a holiday that’s really all about food and family. All three of our young adult children will be with us, as usual, and I’m especially looking forward to our youngest being home from college for a few days (although his college is near by, he lives on campus during the semester). The weather here has been mild, though cloudy — very good for planting. I have some new roses and daffodil bulbs to plant (two of my top favorite flowers), and I’m making progress. I choose roses based in part on their fragrance, so I’m looking forward to lots of rose scent in my garden next summer. Since Thanksgiving is also all about gratitude, I may also do a special post on “What Went Well”; I invite you to join me in reflecting on what went well for you this year.

We gave our daughter her longed-for Jo Malone Ginger Biscuit for her birthday last week and it was a big hit! She had guessed we might be getting it for her, because she texted me that she had heard it was reissued and when she got my non-committal reply, she thought I probably had already bought it, lol.

On Monday, I’ll be posting November’s “Counterpoint”, a 2023 monthly collaboration between me and Portia Turbo of Australian Perfume Junkies. Last week, we posted our other project, “Notes on Notes”, focusing on oud. All good things come to an end, and since those were a 2023 project, November and December will be the last of the collaboration, but I might continue with one of them. Let me know what you think!

Next week also brings “Black Friday” and its many sales, some of which have already begun. Macy’s is having a 50% off sale on some Guerlains and others in the 1 oz. size, I noticed, and significant markdowns on larger sizes of other brands. Are you eyeing any particular fragrant purchases next week, or watching any particular websites for discounts? If you find any great markdowns, please share in the comments!

Carding Mill rose growing through Annabelle hydrangea, Summer 2023
What Went Well
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What Went Well

When I began this blog in 2015, one of my regular topics was “What Went Well” — an exercise in reflection, mindfulness, and gratitude. I don’t write those posts very often any more, but I try to feel grateful every day for the blessings in my life. And as today is Thanksgiving, the timing seems right!

While I’m at it, thank YOU, dear readers, for joining me in my musings! I’m grateful to have found such an interesting, kind group of people with whom to share some of my interests!

So, 2021. What a year — but better than 2020, for sure. 2020 ended on the hopeful note of successful vaccines, and 2021 brought our own eligibility to get vaccinated, which was a huge relief. All three of our young adult children followed in quick succession — also a huge relief, having nursed one daughter through COVID in 2020. She recovered quickly and well, but she was very sick for several days and that was scary. Our two daughters, who had moved home during lockdown, both started new jobs this year and moved out again, to share residences with roommates who were already friends of theirs. Their jobs are going well and they love living with friends! We love having them nearby.

All three kids faced real challenges from mid-2020 to mid-2021, including loss of jobs, loss of experiences like graduations and trips, loss of relationships/friendships. I’m proud of how they tapped into their own resilience and persistence to overcome those challenges, and asked for help bravely when they needed it; and I feel so thankful for their present happiness and good health. My dear husband finally got his long-awaited knee replacement, and he is making a great recovery. Progress is slow but steady, and he’s already looking forward to being able to do more with his rebuilt knee. Our house, which suffered a major plumbing disaster late last year resulting in major repairs for most of 2021, is back in good order — repaired, replastered, repainted. We are slowly moving furniture back into rooms, and even getting new curtains. We were able to use our dining room again for Thanksgiving today!

2021 started out with ongoing stress from 2020, but brought the opportunity to spend a couple of weeks this summer with my beloved father-in-law. On our drives north and then back south, we were able to visit some “bucket-list” destinations like Gettysburg and the Blue Ridge Parkway. It also brought several weddings, two of which had been delayed from 2020, including those of a dear niece and dear nephew. Another niece has just announced her engagement to her longtime, very nice boyfriend. It’s wonderful to be able to see all the young people in our extended family thriving as they truly enter adulthood.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Thank you for reading this; I hope 2021 has brought you blessings, and I hope 2022 will too. I appreciate your presence here.

Thankful
Thankful
Perfume Chat Room, May 14
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Perfume Chat Room, May 14

Welcome to the weekly Perfume Chat Room, perfumistas! I envision this chat room as a weekly drop-in spot online, where readers may ask questions, suggest fragrances, tell others their SOTD, comment on new releases or old favorites, and respond to each other. The perennial theme is fragrance, but we can interpret that broadly. This is meant to be a kind space, so please try not to give or take offense, and let’s all agree to disagree when opinions differ. In fragrance as in life, your mileage may vary! YMMV.

Today is Friday, May 14, and my “May Melange Marathon” continues! I’m very excited to have received this week several samples from two kind readers (thank you!) and will write about a couple of the scents this month. This weekend is a big occasion for my family — one of my daughters “graduated” from college in May 2020, meaning she got her degree but there was no ceremony, and the only festivities were what we could do for her at home with just her parents and siblings. Luckily, her university is holding a special graduation tomorrow for the May 2020 graduates, so she’ll get to walk with quite a few of her friends, and we’ll be able to celebrate her properly. I’m so happy — she worked really hard all four years of college and graduated summa cum laude, but she missed out on all the pomp and circumstance to go with that. She was a really good sport about it, but it was yet another sadness in a sad year. So this weekend will be a special “What Went Well” weekend, for which I’m very grateful.

So that’s most of what I’ll be doing this weekend! You?

Perfume Chat Room, February 26
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Perfume Chat Room, February 26

Welcome to the weekly Perfume Chat Room, perfumistas! I envision this chat room as a weekly drop-in spot online, where readers may ask questions, suggest fragrances, tell others their SOTD, comment on new releases or old favorites, and respond to each other. The perennial theme is fragrance, but we can interpret that broadly. This is meant to be a kind space, so please try not to give or take offense, and let’s all agree to disagree when opinions differ. In fragrance as in life, your mileage may vary! YMMV.

Today is Friday, February 26 — almost the end of the month! We are two months into 2021 — how is this year going for you so far? On some of the other blogs I follow, readers are sharing their experiences of getting vaccinated against COVID-19, and their relief at having done so. I’m very happy for them, and I look forward to achieving that milestone myself as soon as possible. It seems so strange to think that it has been just about a year since the world began to shut down. I remember helping to distribute information to university students last February, about a new virus that had recently appeared, and the recommended (at that time) precautions such as frequent handwashing. At the very start of March 2020, we kept to our plan of taking our son to Jamaica as part of an organized trip by many seniors’ families; it was his “big” graduation gift. I took sanitizing wipes with us and wiped down our seats on the plane, to my son’s chagrin, then the high-touch surfaces in our hotel room although at that time, Jamaica had not yet had any cases of the novel coronavirus.

We had a wonderful time, we came home, and by the end of March, my husband and I were both working from home, school went remote, spring sports were canceled, and all the traditional events of our son’s senior spring in high school and our daughter’s senior spring at college were canceled. Her graduation was entirely remote; his was postponed until the summer, when it was held outside with limited, distanced, and masked attendance. We were so glad that at least we took that last trip, since we had to cancel all our other travel plans, which had included a family summer trip to London, Paris, and Normandy to celebrate the two graduations, two big birthdays in 2020, and a major wedding anniversary. Our oldest daughter moved home after having lost the two jobs she was working, one in theater and the other in trade show planning. All of that and more, just within the last 12 months.

Yet I’m very thankful that no one close to me has suffered the worst of COVID-19, though sadly some friends lost elderly parents, and we haven’t been able to visit my father-in-law in a year. He was safely vaccinated in late December, so we hope to be able to see him as soon as we get vaccinated ourselves. Miraculously, the continuing care community where he lives had not one case of COVID-19 among residents or staff in all of 2020 (and to date, as far as we know). One daughter, who teaches, had COVID herself in the fall but she had a fairly mild case and seems to have recovered fully. I was thankful to have her living at home where we could take care of her. We haven’t yet revived any travel plans further afield than anywhere we can drive to, but Paris is still calling! Think of all the $$ I will have saved to spend on perfume by the time we get there …

This has turned into more of a “What Went Well” post. So in that vein, what went well for you this week, or month, or year so far? Or, to bring it back to fragrance, if you were planning a trip to Paris, what fragrance sites would you visit and what fragrances would be on your Paris shopping list?

Perfume Chat Room, December 25
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Perfume Chat Room, December 25

Merry Christmas, and welcome to the weekly Perfume Chat Room, perfumistas! I envision this chat room as a weekly drop-in spot online, where readers may ask questions, suggest fragrances, tell others their SOTD, comment on new releases or old favorites, and respond to each other. The perennial theme is fragrance, but we can interpret that broadly. This is meant to be a kind space, so please try not to give or take offense, and let’s all agree to disagree when opinions differ. In fragrance as in life, your mileage may vary! YMMV.

Today is Friday, December 25, and it is Christmas Day! Happy Christmas to all who celebrate it! This year, it is a strange holiday, with church services online, many fewer gatherings, less Christmas shopping, etc. Not to mention the ongoing distractions here in the US from our crazy-making election year, which seems never to end. But, as “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” reminds us, “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. ‘Maybe Christmas,’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.’” And so it does.

At Christmas 2020, my family is so thankful for our many blessings. As some of you readers know, I occasionally do a post on “What Went Well” which is a mindfulness and gratitude exercise also called “Three Blessings.” The idea is that one lists a number of things that went well, or turned out to be blessings, in a given period of time. So here are some of mine, for 2020:

  • Good health for all of us, despite one daughter having had COVID 19 this fall (thankfully, she recovered quickly);
  • An effective COVID 19 vaccine, which was given this week to my beloved father-in-law (our sole remaining parent/grandparent) at his assisted living facility;
  • Continued employment for 3 out of the 4 working adults in our family, and an upcoming callback interview for the 4th in the New Year;
  • A roof over our heads in a home we love, in spite of unexpected plumbing repairs and gaping holes in plaster ceilings beneath dismantled bathrooms (!);
  • The ability to afford the repairs;
  • Our loving family that has been able to live together amicably, back together under said roof, during this pandemic;
  • The opportunity and ability to give gifts to each other and to various charities in these troubled times.

What about you, what are the blessings that come to your mind? Or what went well for you recently? And of course, since I mostly write here about fragrance, what fragrance are you wearing for the holidays? I’m currently in Bond No. 9’s I Love New York For Holidays. I expect to try out some of Jo Malone’s Christmas Cologne Sampler later today!

Perfume Chat Room, November 20
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Perfume Chat Room, November 20

Welcome to the weekly Perfume Chat Room, perfumistas! I envision this chat room as a weekly drop-in spot online, where readers may ask questions, suggest fragrances, tell others their SOTD, comment on new releases or old favorites, and respond to each other. The perennial theme is fragrance, but we can interpret that broadly. This is meant to be a kind space, so please try not to give or take offense, and let’s all agree to disagree when opinions differ. In fragrance as in life, your mileage may vary! YMMV.

Today is Friday, November 20, and Thanksgiving is next week! Do you have any special plans, given that the CDC is strongly discouraging travel and large family gatherings? One friend of mine with young adult children who no longer live at home has rented a beach house for the week, with elaborate plans for home tests for COVID-19 and a few days of “podding” in quarantine with family meals taken outside. The young adults are traveling by car. If my children lived far away, this plan would tempt me! But two of mine live at home, and the third is at college close by (he’ll return home on Monday for the end of semester, including remote exams, and then for the duration of winter break, as his college won’t reopen until the last week of January.

Our Thanksgivings have mostly included just the five of us anyway (with an occasional friend in need of turkey), since both my husband’s family and mine are based in New England. With two fulltime jobs and three kids, it was never a holiday for which we were willing to travel, after moving South. And the weather here is often very beautiful at Thanksgiving — cool, crisp nights with clear, sunny days. I still have roses blooming!

It’s definitely the season for autumnal fragrances, though. I took out Clinique Wrappings yesterday, which really suited the weather. I’ve been wearing L’Ambre des Merveilles quite a bit, and different versions of Cabochard. What are your favorite autumn scents?

Lastly, what makes you thankful in this weird year of 2020? This blog started out as a way to practice more mindfulness (“Serenity Now”) and occasionally I have posted about “What Went Well“, a gratitude exercise. I’m thankful that my friends and family have mostly stayed safe and well; I’m thankful for one daughter’s recovery from COVID-19 after a relatively mild case; I’m thankful that my children are all here in the same city. I’m so thankful for the dedicated healthcare workers who are showing up every day to help the rest of us. And I’m thankful that so many people drop by this blog to read, whether or not you comment! Thank you!

Featured image from AARP.org; let’s hope they all use hand sanitizer, too!

What Went Well Wednesday
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What Went Well Wednesday

I only do this occasionally now, but for a while on this blog I had a regular feature called What Went Well Wednesday. It was based on a gratitude practice also called Three Blessings, in which one lists three blessings, or three things that went well, and sometimes WHY they went well. The idea is to refocus one’s attention on what is going well in life and how that happened, including one’s own agency.

Tonight is Wednesday, the night before Thanksgiving here in the US, so I’m counting my blessings.

  1. I am so thankful for my husband and three children, who are all happy, nice, healthy people; and I’m thankful that my children get along so well that they are currently out, just them, having a “sibling bonding” dinner and movie together. Because they are good people making good choices, becoming young adults who make us so proud!
  2. I am thankful for the rest of our extended families: siblings, siblings-in-law, nephews, nieces, and one elderly father-in-law, who is the only surviving parent of the original four parents of myself and my husband. Because they are also good people, doing good things in the world, living their best lives as best they can, living conscientiously in the world.
  3. I am thankful for the daily blessings of good health, a loving spouse, a pretty home, a garden to enjoy, a temperate climate, an interesting and well-paid job (even with its many challenges), the opportunities to keep learning, and the privilege and safety that come with being an American citizen.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it, and blessings to all of you who don’t. I’m also thankful for all of you who do me the honor of reading this blog and offering your own thoughts here. What makes you thankful?

What Went Well in 2017
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What Went Well in 2017

“What Went Well” is a gratitude exercise also known as “Three Blessings.” The idea is that on a regular basis, daily or weekly, one lists three things that went well, and why. (Adding “why” allows one to pinpoint times when acts of one’s own or others contributed to what went well). When I started this blog, while recovering from a broken bone, and during a very stressful period at work, I posted my three blessings weekly, on “What Went Well Wednesday.” I still pause regularly to count my blessings, but I no longer post them. However, a reader recently suggested that I do so again, so here is the year-end wrap-up of “what went well” in 2017! Please feel free to chime in with your own!

  1. I was able to avert a dreaded change in my workplace, that would have had me report to a colleague who has been undermining me for several years, thereby putting my job at risk. This was possible because a new chief executive arrived before that change was made, who had known me, my good work, and excellent reputation for many years — and because I mustered the courage to speak to him candidly about it, so he reversed the plan of the outgoing leadership. My work life now feels less stressful and insecure than it has for several years.
  2. In the face of loss, this year’s deaths of my mother and my husband’s, our extended  families were drawn together and supported each other better than might have been expected. Because we made the effort to recognize each adult child’s different experience and grief, and responded to each other with gentleness and empathy.
  3. Our three children continue to delight us with their growth, resilience, gifts, and love. Because all three have faced various challenges endemic to adolescence and young adulthood with grace, humor, kindness, and perseverance.

I don’t normally post much or speak much about faith, because that is such an individual matter for every person: whether or not one has faith, and how one chooses to honor or express it. In the Lord’s house, there are many mansions. I am also frankly horrified at the misuse of religion to justify the unjustifiable, such as cruelty to others and a domineering will to power regardless of others’ beliefs. It often seems that those who are most outspoken about their own religion are most intolerant of others’, and I want no part of that. However, I pause now to note that my own faith (progressive mainstream Protestant Christian) and our family’s worship community, filled as it is with kind, intelligent, thoughtful, decent people, who try to make the world a better and more beautiful, charitable place, have been especially important to me this year. I take comfort in knowing that our mothers’ long illnesses are over, and that they have been restored to their best essence. So I’ll wrap up my year-end three blessings with my favorite prayer, from the end of each Sunday’s service:

Send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

May we all enjoy a peaceful, happy 2018! What went well for you this year?

What Went Well: Thankful
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What Went Well: Thankful

It has been a while since I posted my weekly “three blessings” on What Went Well Wednesday, but I feel the need to do so in light of the tragedy in Orlando last weekend. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed by the evil and anger that prompt such an act. But it is better to remember to light one’s candles in the dark. My three blessings this week:

  1. I go to an amazing church that rallied quickly to hold a beautiful service of remembrance on Monday night, to mourn and honor the victims in Orlando. And it was straight clergy who did that, understanding that our LGBT congregants were so grief-stricken that they needed our community’s love and support.
  2. At that service, our extraordinary Bishop spoke eloquently, lovingly, passionately, inclusively, about how evil is real but God is much, much more real.
  3. I have been reaching out to students and getting very appreciative responses, which reminds me of what I enjoy about my work.

Do you have “three blessings” to ponder in this week of sadness?

What Went Well
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What Went Well

What went well this week?

  1. My husband and I went to see the most glorious display of daffodils — literally millions of them in full bloom, at a place called Gibbs Gardens. Because I told him a while ago that I’d like to do that, to give him time to process the idea, and because when I reminded him, he sweetly said right away, “Let’s go!”. The flowers were spectacular, winding through the woods and up and down hills.
  2. We spent last week at the beach! Because we decided with a lot of travel planned for the summer, we would have a more relaxed spring break. We are so lucky to be within driving distance of beautiful beaches.
  3. We shared the city of Charleston with dear friends, and they loved it. Because, after all, what’s not to love in Charleston?

Have a great week and count your blessings!